Chronicle X: The Guilt

You know that feeling of utter guilt that hits you dead in the stomach when you know you've done something questionable? Or those seemingly endless thoughts that convince you that everything is your fault? Guilt and helplessness often sink in when you become chronically ill. Maybe if you had eaten better or if you had…

Chronicle IX: More Updates

I had my second appointment with the Autonomic Specialist this past week and he is sending me off to a Vascular Surgeon, because he confirmed vascular compression issues on my CT Angiogram. I am going for a consultation on August 6th with vascular surgery here at Duke in North Carolina to find out next steps…

Chronicle VIII: My Chronic Illness Travels

It's a been some time since I last posted on here - sorry all! The last couple of months have been non-stop. As mentioned in one of my previous posts, I was going to be sent out of state for further autonomic testing. Well, last week I traveled to Virginia to a Dysautonomia Specialist to…

Chronicle VII: The Negative Thoughts

It seems that those of us who suffer from chronic illness, especially those who have what are called “uncommon disorders,” are continuously put to the test and we must be our number one advocates for ourselves and for our condition(s). Physicians often wonder why patients resort to looking up information online. Well, it’s because most…

Chronicle VI: To My Friends and Family That I Make Plans With – I Am Sorry

I have come to realize how difficult it is to be “okay” when I am not actually okay. In the past, when someone asked me how I was doing, I would be honest and say, “I am good. How are you?” Now when I say, “I’m good,” it’s often a lie. I find it’s easier…

Chronicle V: An Open Letter to Past Friends

Dealing with chronic illness has shown me a lot over the last year or so. While in between working, the various doctors’ appointments and hospital visits, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my current health situation, my life experiences, the things I wish I could do and still hope to do,…

Chronicle IV: Health Anxiety

I seem to be caught in this vicious cycle where I go to a new or existing doctor and I can tell they’re not 100% engaged or informed about my illness. They usually end up contradicting what previous or existing physicians have said and I leave with more questions than answers. Then I get home,…

Chronicle III: POTS and the ER

ER visits - they’re never anticipated and for some, the time leading up to them is usually filled with anxiety, second-guessing and wondering if you should even go. Yet, the intense chest pain, dizziness and throat tightness all have you believing your heart is giving out and this could be it. They always tell you…

Chronicle II: The Not-So-Nice Days

Most days, chronic illness wins the fight. It makes us appreciate the better days that much more.

Chronicle I: Lessons I Have Learned So Far from Chronic Illness

I moved across states with the dreams of working at a University. I had been trying to get into Higher Education for quite some time when I lived in my previous home state. Along with hopes of landing our ideal jobs, my husband and I also had our sights set on buying our first house…